FAMILY
better
“Middle school is often a lot harder on
parents than it is on students.”
EILEEN VICKERS, AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SCHOOL COUNSELORS
Counselors and a counselor at Newcastle
Middle School in Wyoming. “Parents
know what’s out in the world, so they’re
anxious about middle school being scary
and overwhelming. Kids just see it as a
new adventure.”
PLAN AHEAD
Your child will feel more positive
about starting middle school if you
tour the school together before classes
start—and before any orientation days,
which can be socially stressful. A
private visit helps your child feel
confident about finding her way to
classes without panicking.
Another big issue for tweens is
organization. Buy a weekly planner in
August and teach your child how to use
it. “If kids know how to plan their time,
they do better in school, and that
becomes a lifelong organizational skill,”
Vickers says.
ALLOW SOME DISTANCE
Once school starts, check in about
homework and exams, but don’t hover.
A little failure can teach a child the
consequences of not being prepared.
“Parents must man up, frankly,” says
New York psychologist Janet Weisberg,
Ph.D. “I’ve seen parents who actually do
their children’s homework for them
because they’re so worried that their
child will fail.”
Children have to experience bumps
in the road to develop resilience. Dr.
Weisberg compares the situation to
toddlers’ bumps and scrapes while
learning to walk. “Kids this age want to
feel their own power and be indepen-
dent, but they still want to know that
their parents are there. Thirteen maybe
the new 18, but it’s also the old 3.”
CIRCLE BACK
At the same time, you don’t want those
, v
V
JESSICA HERMANN^
Started middle school last year in
Annapolis, Maryland
I miss elem entary school, because I miss my old
teachers and the w ork wasn’t as hard. It’s hard to
find yo u r way around on the first day of m iddle
.
_
school, and you don’t know half the people. Plus,
i
'
the teachers seem a lot different. Som e are n ic e ,?
but som e are mean. You have to be m ore
independent, like doing you r hom ework every
night, studying fo r big tests, and keeping your
things organized. You also have m ore classes,
.......
j
and when you’re absent, the teachers don’t let
you slide. Parents should tell children not to
w orry about what the other kids say. Also, stay
away from the trouble-m aking kids. Pick friends
w ho are nice to you and have the same hobbies.
I have friends w ho are funny and easy to get
along with. They’re also all animal lovers like me.
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BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS SEPTEMBER 2010
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